You just can’t make this stuff up.

I was at the range yesterday and I had an experience that almost made my head explode.

There were two guys hitting balls. One was giving lessons to the other and it was obviously a boss and employee. The employee being the one getting the lesson. The boss was your typical range know it all, but was a complete duck (not a typo). Talked like a +5, hit it like a 15 and swung like a 25. The employee looked like if he was just left alone, he could be a nice solid 10-15…but a smaller guy and didn’t hit the ball very far…but very solid and straight.

The boss (yet another double entendre on this blog) was spouting every possible cliche that makes my stomach turn. It went essentially like this…all while he was demonstrating the acts and positions one by one in sequence.

BOSS-“In order to attain the maximum smash factor, you have to make your arc as wide as possible by keeping the club low to the ground and getting as much extension as possible. Keep the backswing very slow to take full advantage of widening the arc. This will also make your hands hinge very late and that helps your create the most lag on the downswing. Make sure you restrict your hips against your shoulder turn creating maximum coil…like stretching a rubber band…and make a full turn by going as far past parallel as you can. The longer the swing, the more time you have to create more club head speed. On the downswing, try and leave everything above the waist still and clear your hips before you move anything else. Then try and hinge your wrists to as small of an angle as you can…and try to hold that lag angle as long as you can with your hands.”

Needless to say, the synapses in my brain were firing at a rate such that the pressure build up caused bleeding from the eye sockets, ears and nose.

Here it comes…

EMPLOYEE-“Boss, I have been reading this blog on the internet. This guy was a former long ball champion, a pretty good player and he says all of those things are too hard for regular people to do and we should try a more simple and natural approach.”

BOSS-“What’s this guy’s name? He sounds pretty clueless.”

EMPLOYEE-“Monte Scheinblum.”

BOSS-“Never heard of him. He probably isn’t even a long drive champion and is just some hack sitting as his keyboard spouting nonsense.”

My spleen then popped through my navel and landed on my wedge.

EMPLOYEE-“I googled his name. He won the long drive title in the 90’s and did well in a couple of Nationwide Tour events.”

BOSS-“Well, if he knew anything, he would be on the PGA Tour.”

I was about to say that listening to morons like him is why I didn’t make the Tour, but I kept my mouth shut as I didn’t want to get the other guy fired…and I find penitentiary a deterrent for not killing people.

The fact I find penitentiary a deterrent, is the only reason several people are walking around right now.

The boss gets up there…and to his credit he tried to implement everything he was talking about. This was the most contrived out of sync mess I have ever seen.

We all know the saying about something looking like a monkey sexually assaulting a football. This guy would need the benefits of an 11 lesson package on just to have his swing look that good.

He hit a bleeding slice about 220 with about 50 yards of left to right boomerang on it.

He reproduced that same shot 4 more times, then hit a screaming BB about 280, puffed out his chest and said…

BOSS-“That’s how you do it.”

I had only hit about 10 balls out of my large bucket. I scooped them back in the bucket, walked over to the employee, handed him the bucket and said…

“I tried what your buddy was saying and I hurt my back…you want the rest of these? I am headed to my chiropractor.”

EDITED-Mr. Employee. If you are reading this, please chime in. 🙂

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  1. bobinpa

    If what you said about the employee is true I hope he’s not shy and comments here. Wonder why he didn’t recognize you. Were you wearing your cargo shorts? No doubt the boss has googled you and will be lurking. Cheers, Monte.

    • Monte Scheinblum

      I agree on both counts. 🙂

      My guess on the not recognizing me is people read the blog at work and youtube is blocked.

  2. Bob S.

    Being “Googled” just doesn’t sound right 🙂

  3. Bob34

    BTW: This just doesn’t happen on the range. I get so spun up sometimes lurking at the golf instruction site I used to pay monthly for. There are 5 pages of posts on one thread there called “shoulder elevation” Shoulder elevation is basically raising your arms. One instructor wants you to swing your arms & club down the edge of your toe line to keep the arms in front. The other wants you to keep your left arm connected to your chest, both want a spine angle of 35-45 degrees depending on height. There is much confusion on how to do this because no one is mentioning the spine angle. If you’re bent over that much and swing your arms down the edge of your toes you’re going to lose connection of your left arm to your chest unless you have a really big chest 🙂 If you keep the connection, you’re going to come inside. On one hand, I know it’s best for me to just walk away and not go there anymore. On the other, I feel like I’m copping out and being a coward for not saying anything there…


    • shoot54today

      Hey, Bob. Hayes here. Tough to walk away. I go back about once per month just for giggles. It is incredible to think of the simplicity of what was once taught, and taught with success, and to watch what has transformed.
      I like how he flat out stole some of the ideas from stuff I posted from Kelvin Miyahira’s site. I think Randy flat out called him out on it.


    • Kevin

      I just googled “shoulder elevation” and found the forum I think you were referring to. I got out of there quick!

  4. morganmonroe

    Monte, I admire your newfound restraint. 😉

    Would’ve been fun to see what the guy said if you’d introduced yourself and hit a couple for him.

  5. Greg

    I’ll tell you what you should have done. If you saw the movie “Tombstone” there is a part at the beginning of the movie where Wyatt Earp walks into a casino that some bully loudmouth runs. He gets in Wyatt’s face and Wyatt just backhands him and the bully says nothing. Then he smacks him again, stares at him and says “You gonna do something about it, or just stand their and bleed?”
    That’s what I think you should have done.

    • Kevin

      Monte as Wyatt Earp:

  6. Steve Bishop

    It’s amazing how common sense and the “real world” is tossed out the window when most people hold a club in their hands.

    Back when I used to play in the college concert band we used to say that a drummers IQ dropped 10 points for every drumstick he was holding. In golf there is a similar phenomenon.

    Swing – Backward and forward circular motion.

    That’s it people. That’s all you have to do.

  7. Bob34


    Good to hear from ya bud!!! I think randy sent you my email address. There’s something else I wanted to ask you about when you get the chance…

    I gotta tell ya, I’m pretty excited about getting back to playing golf and not worring about if I’m in the EXACT position I’m supposed to be in at EXACTLY the right time and then worrying about if the instruction about that is going to change next week or next month. Yeah, I’m PT Barnum’s definition of a sucker. I was drinking the Kool-Aide by the gallon 🙁


    • shoot54today


      I just went back to the aforementioned site and went back to some of our posts from the summer of 2005. All we talked about was simplicity and how well we were playing. Man, I sure screwed that up!


  8. shoot54today

    Do I have to wear Cargo Shorts?

  9. gwlee7


    Don’t confuse me with the “Greg” that has posted a comment here already. As always, I am “gwlee7” (that’s the general to you ;))

    It’s great to be here and to have seen “randini” again. This is the new place to be as our other friend has gone wacko on us.

  10. shoot54today

    My bad, General Lee. I am out of practice.


  11. gwlee7

    No Bad. I liked what “greg” said. I am glad I’ve found you guys.

  12. Bob34

    So as not to junk up Monte’s blog, I started a thread on his forum. I wonder just how many of us are actually here?

    Link is on the right but I also posted here:



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