I played golf one day with a few friends and had a run in with the group behind me, the group in front of me and a marshal.
On the first tee my friends all hit and I obviously had to wait longer till the group in front of us got out of range. The first hole was about 400 yards and down wind. I was just about getting ready to hit when the group behind us rolled up and one of the guys said loud enough for us to hear.
“What the F*** is this guy waiting for?”
One of my friends laughed at him and said, “now he is going to make you wait longer.”
I waited till the group in front got off the green and this guy was steaming, came out on the tee and started talking smack.
“$100 says you don’t even get it to the 150 rock. Better wear a hard hat fellas, cuz we aren’t going to wait on this S*** all day.”
I ignored him. When the group in front got off the green, I hit one in the green side bunker, turned to the guy and said, “hit into us any time you feel the need, but just so you know, I can hit a low screaming 1-iron with great accuracy.”
A few holes later there was a short par 4 in the 330 range. I was waiting for the group in front to get off the green. After they finished, 2 of them started practice putting with the flag in. I whistled at them and waved my hand. They looked up and went back to putting. I whistled and waved again. They looked up and waved back at me and went back to their putting.
I said, “no problem, but let’s all yell fore as soon as my ball gets airborne.”
I lasered one right at the flag, we all yelled fore, it landed on the front of the green and rolled up to about 10 feet…not 3 feet from where one of these guys was putting. These two jokers get in their cart and drove back down the fairway, got out of the cart and start yelling and cursing at me.
I said in a very calm voice, “first of all, that ball landed 20 or 30 yards from you and rolled up to where you were. Second of all did you think I was whistling at you because you looked cute in your scratch outfit? Third, I may not look like much, but do you really want to provoke someone who can hit a golf ball that far? I am obviously not muscular nor do I fancy my self as a badass, but I just flew a ball on the green of a 330 yard hole into the wind because my hands are strong enough to rip your balls off and feed them to you.”
Now I am on the ninth tee, par 5. Elevated tee and a lake in the middle and left parts of the fairway that is about 350 out. If I want to hit driver, I must hit it up the right side. One of my buddies from the short par 4 is fishing a ball out of the water that he hit into the edge on his third shot.
My friends have all hit and the marshal comes up on the tee and says, “sir, we have had complaints that you are holding up play by waiting too long to hit your tee shots.”
I informed him I was a world long drive champion I was was trying to show courtesy to the group in front as I had already hit into them once. He noticeably scoffed at me like I was feeding him a line and asked me again to hit. I again told him I could reach the group in the fairway. He told me I must hit now, or be asked to leave the course.
I said no problem. I stepped up, aimed for my buddy fishing balls out of the lake and tagged one right at him.
As soon as the ball left the club I told the marshal…”that ball is going to land in the lake right next to that guy’s head, so you can go apologize to him.” Just as I finished my comment, the ball splashed in the lake about 5 feet from the guy who got in my grill on the short par 4.
The entire back nine I heard nothing from the marshal, the group in front of me or the group behind me, but I did get called into the pro shop to be chastised by the head pro for all three of those incidents in context that they were all completely my fault.
How about a story of a 4-some of women playing in front of me who provoked me at Shady Canyon (a ritzy private club in Irvine, CA) and how the end resulted in me threatening to knock out the teeth of the head pro.
PS-I am sure you are reading this and noticing some latent hostility on my part. Let me put it this way. I told you one story and hinted at the details of another. Ask yourself this. If incidents like those above happened dozens of times, don’t you admire me for not being on death row?