If I were granted one golf wish

And winning a major or some such career making event were not an option, I would wish for this.

Saturday morning I get to tee it up at Pebble on a 75* sunny day.

The 4-some in front of me is made up of people who dole out complicated (and completely incorrect) advice to everyone who will listen…like a certain JR on Golfwrx and I get to hit into them with impunity.

After spending Saturday night at The Lodge with the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and a non lethal dose of Viagra…sorry, I mean Cialis, the official flag stick pill of the PGA Tour…

The next morning…

I am magically transported to the first tee at St. Andrews where the 4-some in front of me is Leadbetter, Haney, Pelz and McClean, wearing leopard G’s, during a typical nasty British Open weather day, that takes 6 hours, and for each stroke they shoot over 90, they have to donate $100,000 to a disease charity of their choice…while I hit into them with impunity.

This is my Old Milwaukee commercial.

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12 Comments

  1. gwlee7

    Say what you want about the other guys, and while he may not be the best instructor, McClean will most likely not be making any donations to charities. You picked the wrong guy. He can play. Look him up.

    Reply
    • gwlee7

      Never mind, I did it for you:

      Jim’s playing achievements include being one of the few people to qualify for the US Junior, the US Amateur (4 times) the US Open (2 times) and the US Senior Open and has also been a contestant in the Masters (where he made the cut). Winner of the Northwest Open and 3 time winner of the Pacific Northwest Amateur. Jim was the Pacific Coast Amateur Champion (at Olympic, San Francisco) winner of the National Skins Game Pro-Am (seen on ESPN $61,000), winner of the Westchester PGA and runner-up at the Metropolitan PGA Championship. Jim has qualified for the National Club Pro Championships ten times. Jim was an All-American at the University of Houston and when he left the team, it had won 12 of 16 NCAA’s and finished 2nd in the other four. He was winner of more than 50 Junior and Amateur Titles in the Pacific Northwest. Jim was also named 1st alternate to the US World Cup Team in 1972. He played the PGA Tour during the winter of 1982.

      Keep in mind too, that I am not a particular fan of his teachings, just that he is the wrong one to mention when saying these instructors couldn’t break an egg.

      Reply
  2. rojoass

    yea right on or whatever & now after all that egg breaking he fell victim to the pipe……

    Swingcrack is non discriminate & Jim is proof. Not only is he a user he’s a world class dealer of the puff……

    Reply
  3. woody

    I see nothing in Monte’s post that says they couldn’t play (although Haney reputedly had the driver yips). The high scores were attributed to ” a typical nasty British Open weather day.”

    Over 90 ain’t that bad in those circumstances. I believe I can recall TW shooting in the 80’s on one such day…and they ain’t TW.

    X-factor by restricting the hips? That’s in the running for worst golf advice, ever.

    Reply
  4. eric

    lol I would love to watch this movie every year on Christmas instead of that dam Red Ryder Bee bee Gun reruns

    Reply
  5. Mike Divot

    Funny, both those courses have a local rule where if you your ball hits another player, you can take a mulligan.

    Reply
  6. Calvin

    🙂 I’ll buy a ticket if you get Daly, Bubba and Freddie to join you.

    Reply
  7. mookie

    Adding to that “So-and-so can play–you picked the wrong guy” comment: Monte’s right. It’s not about whether these guys can PLAY–it’s whether they can help the guy standing in front of them to play better golf. Are they good TEACHERS?

    A lot of guys on GolfWRX can play (at least they say so). But them trying to explain how to fix my stupid casting move at the top is like trying to understand a foreign language. They SOUND smart; and I’m sure they impress themselves with their language and terminology. But can they help anyone?

    By the way, Monte. speaking of Haney…..I was flipping through the latest issue of Golf Digest and saw Haney’s tip of the month: “To find your perfect plane, swing your driver off the ground like a baseball bat. You’ll find the club moving around your body on a consistent plane. Then just bend forward from your hips to change the angle of the swing to one that would hit a ball from a tee. That’s your plane.”

    ha…

    aloha
    and Merry Christmas everyone.

    Reply
  8. John Short

    Oh yeah, I want to be the marker for the St. Andrews round to make sure that Leadbetter and Pelz pony up the 5 or 6 hundred grand they both are going to owe. I’ve played St. Andrews when it was 50 degrees and raining sideways, IN AUGUST. I couldn’t feel my hands after number 4. On the 17th tee box my driver flew out of my hands and traveled farther than my drive. My favorite charity would have made a chunk of dough that day.

    Reply

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