…and next Monday as well. Today is near me in So Cal and next week is in Nor Cal.
I have a few things to say. I am trilled with how my study of the swing has educated me on how to exercise my own swing demons and get myself off swingcrack. I am essentially off it and on most days, my swing feels great.
I either hit it like a Tour player (Nationwide at the very minimum) and on bad days, I miss it in play. Something I was sorely missing in my better days of nearly being a world class player of PGA Tour caliber.
What is really disappointing to me is my inability to mentally get past the failures I have experienced during my swing troubles. Instead of trying to hit good shots, I am still trying to avoid bad shots.
For those of you who think it’s a deficiency in the mental toughness category, I would offer this. I experience the same “lack of trust” when I am out by myself dropping multiple balls and hitting shots on the course. It happens almost as often on shots that fit my eye as ones that don’t. It’s a habit…and a bad habit. I have steered the ball around the course for so long, that is what I still am programmed to do. It is not fear, not in the slightest. What’s the big deal? If I don’t qualify, I am no worse off than I was when the day started.
I am not being a hypocrite, I am practicing what I am preaching, making an effort every day and I am noticing I am better…but far from the level I need to be to play optimum golf. If I could play with the same reckless abandon I did 15 years ago, I would be playing some world class golf.
Hand wringing aside, I need to try and shoot 62 and if I shoot 78, BFD.
These wormy 69-72’s I have been shooting are driving me nuts. The 75 I shot in Phoenix was much of the same, with two unfortunate breaks. Too many routine pars and not enough birdies.
I would prefer 68 with 10 birdies and 3 doubles, versus 70 with 2 birdies and 16 pars. The first one is easier to fix.
The course I play today essentially has OB left and right on every hole. If you see me shoot 75-80, the steers were in play. My goal during the PAT was to play 36 holes with one ball and that got me in a mindset to play some decent golf. Today my goal is to avoid the steering wheel and just play.
I am going to make the score I shoot a complete non factor. My habit on a course like this was to look at the white stakes and forget where I was actually trying to hit the ball. We all know how that sort of thinking affects the human brain.
If I make it today, great, but I am actually going to use today to setup next week. Fire at will and get myself comfortable trying to hit a good shot, instead of avoiding bad ones. That is the last step I need to make in order to become a player again.
The best analogy I can give is someone with a good resume being turned down for every job he interviews for. He starts to expect to be turned down and the interviewers sense that. I need to start expecting to play well. I played poorly for so long, I still show up to course “hoping” to play well. If you saw some of the golf I have played the last few months, you would slap my face with a glove…or worse, knock me over the head with an LW to knock some sense into me.
Anyone invent selective lobotomies yet?
I have said this before, I will fail until I succeed. Along the way, I will learn more about golf and how to get better and use my knowledge to make others better.
Until I make this step, I am just a guy who is sometimes decent, but should get a real job (which I at least have now). If I can make this step, I can be the real life Roy Hobbs…only without the bullet in my abdomen from Barbara Hershey. My equivalent is an overloaded memory center with a certain nuked 5-iron from a final round lodged in the middle. Maybe I can be the real life Nuke Leloosh too.