I am going to quit golf

and take up a less painful sport.

Ferret legging.

The rules are:

You must be sober, no underwear, pants fastened tight at the ankles and at the waist and a ferret gets thrown in your pants and you see how long you can last.

They have sharp teeth, are carnivorous and have a habit of latching on to something and not letting go. The world record is over 5 hours.

I will call this random thought #2 and I will quote the great George Carlin.

“These are the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools.”

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9 Comments

  1. s.

    Golf is more dangerous.

    Yesterday and the range, the ball-picker had broken down, and a couple of guys were out there trying to fix it, in the middle of the range at the 150 point.

    Reply
    • Calvin D

      Dangerous indeed. If you have a club thrower in your group, always stay behind him and to his right if he’s right-handed as the club will always hook left when thrown.

      There are some who are incapable of turning adversity into positive emotion. 🙂

      Reply
      • gwlee7

        You’ll know if the thrower in your group is a pro or not if he’s always moving up the fairway or towards the next hole. If he ever walks backwards to retrieve his club, he’s a hack.

        Reply
  2. Dion

    Ferrets are much misunderstood. In Ireland a ferret is a chip-in and is one the extras we bet on.

    Reply
  3. Peter B

    Movie or it did not happen 🙂

    Reply
  4. Calvin D

    Do ferrets eat nuts?

    Byrd better step his pace up Sunday. Some of the guys behind him need like 30 holes to finish.

    Reply
    • woody

      Ferrets eat rabbits and gophers…but they’d probably chomp down on a wiener, if offered.

      They go into burrows and drive critters out, hence the verb, “to ferret” as in “to ferret out enemies.”

      However, golf is still more dangerous. My father-in-law hit a worm-burner into a forward tee marker, and it caromed back and glanced off his temple.

      Reply
      • Calvin D

        Ouch.

        I once witnessed a guy hit a full three wood from 5 feet behind a tree which promptly fired the ball back into his cajones.
        Dropped like an ox. But, a true golfer, he finished the hole and the round. Golf is dangerous but golfers are tough.

        Reply
  5. Christian

    I finally got curious enough to look this up. I really like this description from Wikipedia :-):

    The sport is said to involve very little “native skill”,[5] simply an ability to “have your tool bitten and not care”.[15]

    Reply

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