I am going to quit golf

and take up a less painful sport.

Ferret legging.

The rules are:

You must be sober, no underwear, pants fastened tight at the ankles and at the waist and a ferret gets thrown in your pants and you see how long you can last.

They have sharp teeth, are carnivorous and have a habit of latching on to something and not letting go. The world record is over 5 hours.

I will call this random thought #2 and I will quote the great George Carlin.

“These are the thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools.”




  1. s.

    Golf is more dangerous.

    Yesterday and the range, the ball-picker had broken down, and a couple of guys were out there trying to fix it, in the middle of the range at the 150 point.

    • Calvin D

      Dangerous indeed. If you have a club thrower in your group, always stay behind him and to his right if he’s right-handed as the club will always hook left when thrown.

      There are some who are incapable of turning adversity into positive emotion. 🙂

      • gwlee7

        You’ll know if the thrower in your group is a pro or not if he’s always moving up the fairway or towards the next hole. If he ever walks backwards to retrieve his club, he’s a hack.

  2. Dion

    Ferrets are much misunderstood. In Ireland a ferret is a chip-in and is one the extras we bet on.

  3. Peter B

    Movie or it did not happen 🙂

  4. Calvin D

    Do ferrets eat nuts?

    Byrd better step his pace up Sunday. Some of the guys behind him need like 30 holes to finish.

    • woody

      Ferrets eat rabbits and gophers…but they’d probably chomp down on a wiener, if offered.

      They go into burrows and drive critters out, hence the verb, “to ferret” as in “to ferret out enemies.”

      However, golf is still more dangerous. My father-in-law hit a worm-burner into a forward tee marker, and it caromed back and glanced off his temple.

      • Calvin D


        I once witnessed a guy hit a full three wood from 5 feet behind a tree which promptly fired the ball back into his cajones.
        Dropped like an ox. But, a true golfer, he finished the hole and the round. Golf is dangerous but golfers are tough.

  5. Christian

    I finally got curious enough to look this up. I really like this description from Wikipedia :-):

    The sport is said to involve very little “native skill”,[5] simply an ability to “have your tool bitten and not care”.[15]



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