Brits are Geniuses

Not only do they drive on the opposite side of the road, they put a round-a-bout every 6 feet to pay back Americans for our arrogance and brovado and make us feel like the dumbest idiots on earth.

I will never make fun of any foreign drivers going slow in the left hand lane again. They are trying to do what’s right. That’s the slow lane at home.

There is a nice mall 2 miles from the airport in Edinburgh. I decided to go there and wait till my friend landed. In 2 miles there was only one turn. A left. However, there were 5 round-a-bouts and trying not to exit into oncoming traffic, I exited at the wrong place 3 times…and this is won a GPS.

I’m also 3 for 3 in getting in the car on the wrong side.

You also have to be a PHD in neumasmatics to figure out the worth of the coins. I’m going to end up leaving with $500 in change…or may three and a quarter.

When I get outside the city and all the signs are in Gaelic, I’m going to make a wrong turn and end up being tally whacked by a Highlander.

However, the people here are fantastic. Helpful, friendly, although taking quite a bit of amusement at the expense of my struggles. Going to be a great fortnight.




  1. Jake G

    Well written Monte and hilarious. It looks like you will have enough material to write a short story by the time you leave. Just remember, Siri will always F__k you ( especially in foreign territory ?)

  2. Parmark

    Quick, get me the Golf Channel… I see a reality show in the making!!

  3. Andrew in Belgium

    Ha, sounds like Home. So sorry I could not make it to Cupar, literally 5 miles from my brother.

    Keep up the driving (In a car, not 350 yard bombers) skills Monte – when you go down south you will find the same, only all done at twice the speed and without the laid back friendliness!

    Hope you enjoy a few of the local courses if you have time – Ladybank is a goodie and very close but the links are made for you – Elie, Lundin Links, … you do not even have to queue at St. Andrews to have great golf.


  4. Phil

    Good luck Monty, I’m very disappointed that I can’t attend one of your clinics. Just moved house this summer so came at the wrong time!

    I hope they are successful and you return to do them again next year, I will be 100% there next year!

  5. David in Glasgow

    Welcome to Scotland Monte!
    Our change is genius, different shapes for different values, none of these squinting to tell the difference between a dime and a quarter!
    Just be ready for strange looks when you spend Scots notes down in London.

    It’s always this sunny, the rain is just a myth to keep strangers away 🙂

  6. allen l

    Hi Monte
    Just wait till you get to Australia– kangaroos hopping down the main street and wild men throwing curved sticks at birds . just kidding you’ll love Royal Melbourne and the sand belt courses and Sydney courses like New South Wales The Australian and Royal Sydney. — and yes we have round-a- bouts.
    Allen Lane

  7. Andy

    Welcome to the UK Monte!

  8. Daniel Eason

    LMAO at the car door comment….how many times have you gone for gear with your right hand too


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