(My wife watched the season finale of the Bachelorette last night and this morning. I am now a very stupid man after being exposed to this. If I tried to write something good today, it would read like a generic golf publication article and would not helpful at all. I need 24 hours to sober up. I am going to have a real good post tomorrow for those of you that are struggling and for no apparent reason)
There are too many for me to know and list, so please feel free to add any that I missed.
The worst one, by far, is being disqualified if you sign an incorrect scorecard. I realize this is supposed to be a penalty for cheating, but this rule is imposed in some terrible situations.
A PGA Tour player can commit a penalty he doesn’t even see. Some fan can call in after he has signed his scorecard and if the tape proves the fan correct, the player is assessed a 2 stroke penalty and disqualified for signing an incorrect card.
I actually have no problem with players being assessed penalties they are unaware of, but just give the penalty and be done with it. They won’t change this rule until Tiger wins a major and the tape shows his ball moving after he addressed it with his putter and it wasn’t found out till after the tournament was over.
By definition, a divot in the fairway is ground under repair. The “play it as it lies” rule was fine 100 years ago when 3 people played the course in a day. Add the fact that every course being designed today is target golf and 400 people are hitting the ball to the same 12 square foot spot in the fairway every day.
14 club rule…LOL. So basically what you are telling me is that some 90 year old lady who hits the ball 37 feet is allowed the same number of clubs that I am? I will quote Buford T Justice…”That is pure and simple old fashion communism.” Ask any Russian, communism stinks.
No range finders on the PGA Tour? What’s the difference between a yardage book/pin sheet and a range finder? The answer is about 20-30 minutes.
It seems to me that the people who control the rules are a bunch of old fogies who don’t understand that the rules are a living thing and must evolve with the times. The original Constitution would not apply very well today and that is why dozens of Amendments have been added.
The rules of Golf have been amended…just not very well. I am sure people will tell me the Constitution has been amended poorly, but let’s keep political discussion to pompous intellectuals on CNN. This is s golf blog for pompous dorks.
Here are some rules we need.
1. Anyone throwing up grass more than once, with no TV cameras around (meaning a professional golf event)-2 shot penalty.
2. Any pre-shot routine that last more seconds than the number of yards the resulting shot travels-double 2 shot penalty.
3. Wearing an outfit, not including golf shoes, that costs more than the green fee-2 shot penalty.
4. Giving golf lessons on the course by anyone not being paid to do so-death.
5. Playing a set of tees beyond the skill level of the group and falling two holes behind the group in front-The foursome must marry Rosanne Barr, Rosie O’Donnell, Sandra Bernhard and Hilary Clinton. All future golf must be played with said spouses and none are allowed on the course till the Super Twilight rate kicks in.
6. Telling someone to “keep you head down.”-Must play all golf behind the group breaking rule 5 above.
(In case you are here for the first time, read the next article below. That is why your friends sent you here) 🙂