Rules of golf that are terrible.

(My wife watched the season finale of the Bachelorette last night and this morning. I am now a very stupid man after being exposed to this. If I tried to write something good today, it would read like a generic golf publication article and would not helpful at all. I need 24 hours to sober up. I am going to have a real good post tomorrow for those of you that are struggling and for no apparent reason)

There are too many for me to know and list, so please feel free to add any that I missed.

The worst one, by far, is being disqualified if you sign an incorrect scorecard. I realize this is supposed to be a penalty for cheating, but this rule is imposed in some terrible situations.

A PGA Tour player can commit a penalty he doesn’t even see. Some fan can call in after he has signed his scorecard and if the tape proves the fan correct, the player is assessed a 2 stroke penalty and disqualified for signing an incorrect card.

I actually have no problem with players being assessed penalties they are unaware of, but just give the penalty and be done with it. They won’t change this rule until Tiger wins a major and the tape shows his ball moving after he addressed it with his putter and it wasn’t found out till after the tournament was over.

By definition, a divot in the fairway is ground under repair. The “play it as it lies” rule was fine 100 years ago when 3 people played the course in a day. Add the fact that every course being designed today is target golf and 400 people are hitting the ball to the same 12 square foot spot in the fairway every day.

14 club rule…LOL. So basically what you are telling me is that some 90 year old lady who hits the ball 37 feet is allowed the same number of clubs that I am? I will quote Buford T Justice…”That is pure and simple old fashion communism.” Ask any Russian, communism stinks.

No range finders on the PGA Tour? What’s the difference between a yardage book/pin sheet and a range finder? The answer is about 20-30 minutes.

It seems to me that the people who control the rules are a bunch of old fogies who don’t understand that the rules are a living thing and must evolve with the times. The original Constitution would not apply very well today and that is why dozens of Amendments have been added.

The rules of Golf have been amended…just not very well. I am sure people will tell me the Constitution has been amended poorly, but let’s keep political discussion to pompous intellectuals on CNN. This is s golf blog for pompous dorks.

Here are some rules we need.

1. Anyone throwing up grass more than once, with no TV cameras around (meaning a professional golf event)-2 shot penalty.

2. Any pre-shot routine that last more seconds than the number of yards the resulting shot travels-double 2 shot penalty.

3. Wearing an outfit, not including golf shoes, that costs more than the green fee-2 shot penalty.

4. Giving golf lessons on the course by anyone not being paid to do so-death.

5. Playing a set of tees beyond the skill level of the group and falling two holes behind the group in front-The foursome must marry Rosanne Barr, Rosie O’Donnell, Sandra Bernhard and Hilary Clinton. All future golf must be played with said spouses and none are allowed on the course till the Super Twilight rate kicks in.

6. Telling someone to “keep you head down.”-Must play all golf behind the group breaking rule 5 above.

(In case you are here for the first time, read the next article below. That is why your friends sent you here) 🙂




  1. Banner 12

    Actually, here are some real rules that need to be enacted/changed:

    1) Lost ball/OB should be stroke, not stroke and distance. I understand they played this years ago to just stroke and changed it back. Should have left it alone. Play it like a lateral or an unplayable lie and no more trudging back to the tee. That’s stupid.

    2) Lift clean and place when there is mud on the ball. They do this all the time On the PGA tour and the world survives. Let regular players do it too.

    3) Free drop when landing on hardpan/dirt in a fairway. Why should a player be penalized for a course that is kept in shitty condition?

    4) Overgrown trees should be played under the ‘staked tree’ rule. See #3 for reason.

    5) Automatic 2 putts when greens are aerated. Should also apply when playing crappy temp. greens.

    6) Unintentional double hit should only count as 1 stroke. Do you think anyone actually benefits from double hit?

    7) Free drop from divots. Monte already endorsed this for obvious reasons.

    8) No penalty for hitting the flagstick on a putt. It would be a big time saver plus if it’s OK when chipping why shouldn’t it be OK when putting?

    9) Gimmies should be allowed in stroke play. If it’s OK in match play, should also be OK in stroke play casual golf for handicap purposes.

    10) Last, but not least. Disallow any use of yardage books, range finders, yardage markers, etc. and just have players play on feel. Funny, seems like they used to do that at one time…

  2. meateater

    I tend to agree with Banner. The OB rule is stupid for recreational play and is widely ignored. Unless you are a MMA fighter, you really are not making a good decision to go back to the tee on most courses if you find you are OB.

    The main rule change the Tour needs to make is to require a player to hit the damn putt within 10 seconds. There is nothing more boring than watching guys dick around over putts or agonize over the line. Daly putted pretty well by walking up and hitting it. Let everyone putt that way. Also, marking and cleaning before a tap in should be automatic disqualification.

  3. chris

    how about the dude that says nice putt, yet you blast it 6 feet past, glare at him and say yeah, it sure as f was and then he replies – at least you got it to the hole.

    Another one is the guy that says good shot or comments on every single freaking shot hit by everyone in the foursome…leave the commentating to Nobilo (the best one there is, nothing fancy and knows his sheeeet). Love the blog!


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