David Feherty quotes

I especially like the Mickelson one.


“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”

“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife.”

“They don’t do comedy at the Masters. The Masters, for me, is like holding onto a really big collection of gas for a week. It’s like having my buttocks surgically clenched at Augusta General Hospital on Wednesday, and surgically unclenched on Monday on the way to Hilton Head.”

Jim Furyk’s swing – “It looks like an octopus falling out of a tree.”

“He’s (Luke Donald) a bloody walking ATM. I slid my AmEx between the cheeks of his a$$ and out popped $500.”

“That’s a great shot with that swing.”

“It’s OK – the bunker stopped it.”

“Fortunately, he (Rory) is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”

At Augusta 2011 – “It’s just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it.”

“That was a great shot – if they’d put the pin there today.”

“Everything moves except his bowels.”

“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”

“That green appears smaller than a Pygmie’s nipple”.

Forward this to any golfers with a sense of humor…




  1. Bill

    David Feherty also has a serious side. Do you recall him saying ” A perfect golf swing would look simple because the simple things would be done perfectly.”

  2. Calvin

    I like the Phil one too. It reminds me of someone saying Trevino’s swing looks like
    a drunk bailing out of a taxi cab. Don’t remember who said it.

  3. Nic

    Hey Monte,

    Love the blog and the videos.

    Totally unrelated question to this post. I’ve been trying to pick up the game for the last 8 months. I’ve taken a lot of lessons at both GolfTec and from an outdoor club instructor. I’ve read and watched a ton of stuff. I still have a persistent problem that nobody has really been able to solve. My overwhelming tendency is to block shots — pretty good height and distance, but dead right (I’m right handed). And when I say dead right, I mean you’re-not-ever-going-to-find-the-ball right.

    It’s clear from videos that my clubface tends to be open at impact. I’ve recently been told to start releasing the club from the top, presumably to make sure the clubface closes in time. Sometimes that works, but most times if I start thinking about that, I hit every club fat (or sometimes thin)–even *cringe* my driver. Occasionally I’ll avoid the ground and hook the ball.

    So that’s my problem: blocked shots with an open clubface if I swing naturally, or fat/thin shots if I start “releasing” from the top. To make matters worse, I’m not sure if the release is the culprit or if something like hip slide/overactive lower body or losing posture is the root cause. The outdoor instructor has noted I have a tendency to pull the club toward my body during the downswing if that sheds any light.

    Would love to hear your thoughts if you have a minute.

    • Monte Scheinblum

      I would have to see a video. Likelihood is it starts in the initial takeaway and just a domino effect of compensations.

  4. Ron

    I remember one time Feherty saying this about Tiger when he was having trouble with the driver “He couldn’t find the sea from the deck of an aircraft carrier”

  5. Spike

    I heard Feherty offer this hilarious assessment of Sergio Garcia’s pre-swing antics on a Dallas radio show years ago: “I don’t regrip that much when I’m having sex with myself.”


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