gave me the idea to re-post this article I wrote over a year ago.

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Jim Furyk is ruining the game for all of us.

Actually, it’s not all his fault. Ben Crane gets some of the blame too and it’s not all their fault.

There are thousands of dorks out there that think they have to copy whatever the players on the PGA Tour do and it literally only takes one guy taking himself too seriously to create a 5 or 6 hour round for everyone. Walking golf shouldn’t take more than 4 hours and cart golf should take 3 1/2. When I was in junior golf in the 80′s, we were playing for college scholarships and there would be fist fights if it took more than 3 1/2 hours and we were carrying our own bags and playing foursomes. Monday’s round took 1:40 for 5 holes and we were playing threesomes on a fairly wide open course.

Anyway, Jim addresses the ball, backs off, looks at it again, hikes up his pants, addresses it again, takes a practice stroke, then parks over it for 10 minutes…

Do you know what is being said in the group behind and and by his playing partners?

“HEY JIM, PULL THE TRIGGER!!!!!!!!”

Bad golf is not what causes slow play. Bad medium and even good golf combined with a 3 minute, scratch, pre-shot routine is what causes slow play.

Golfers have been inundated by information in the golf media and that makes them think they need a long routine, they need to sick to it even over 2 foot putts and they need a 14 step setup and swing checklist. It doesn’t matter if you are shooting 64, or 104, stay in your routine.

You’ve seen it. Wait till the group is off the green when it is 260 yards away. Step off the yardage twice to make sure it’s 262 and not 261. Stand behind it and line up like Nicklaus, march into position, grind on the grip one hand at a time, get the perfect setup, look at the hole…and A PRACTICE SWING with the perfect scratch, PGA Tour, reverse “C” finish and hold!. Then, one foot at a time step into address position, grind on the grip one hand at a time look at the hole, waggle and make a half back swing while watching the club to make sure it is hitting the perfect positions. Look at the hole, waggle, half back swing, look at the hole, waggle, half back swing…then look at the ball, slump the shoulders and freeze. 5 seconds…10 seconds…15 seconds…finally they hit the ball and they top it 23 yards only to start this routine all over again, not forgetting to step off the yardage as it might take a different club to not come close to reaching the green…and this repeats all the way up to grinding on that 18 inch putt for a 9.

This is why rounds of golf at your local course are measured with a calender instead of a clock. My unofficial results are that it is taking an hour longer to play a given course since The Golf Channel came on air in 1995.

My advice to all of the slow golfers out there (and you know who you are) is the more you think and the slower you play, the higher you will shoot and the less fun you will have. All of this grinding is not fun for you, nor is it fun for the hundreds of people playing behind you that want to finish the round before global warming kills us all.

So…

PULL THE TRIGGER!!!!!!!!!!!

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5 Comments

  1. Calvin D

    That’s really well written. It’s odd how that stuff is funny the next day.

    Last week my foursome caught up with a one-some on #5. He had a spear with a towel attached to the top of it and would stab it into the ground like Osceola in front of every green. He went back and forth to it wiping things clean while he did all his ceremonies. We just watched for a couple of holes in slack-jawed amazement but finally our resident “Gabby Hayes” yelled at him that we were expected home before dark.

    I just don’t understand the mind-set of slow players. Monte, maybe you could get a million dollar federal grant to study them?

    Reply
  2. Calvin D

    Furyk irritates the hell out of me on the green. It’s like watching a freaking ant bed.

    Reply
  3. Philbert

    Although I generally agree with you about how long a round should take, part of the problems are the courses themselves. Because of ego or protecting their reputation as a difficult course, they don’t take the “typical” golfer into account and let the primary rough grow to lengths equal to or longer than US Open rough. Looking for two or three balls on a hole that missed the fairway by a yard or two in 4-6″ rough with no crowds, fore caddies or marshals to spot the ball will also make for a long day!

    Reply
  4. Walter

    Monty,
    Great Post. I live in The Villages, FL. It is a retirement community with 60,000+ residents. We have 28 excutive golf courses with yardages of 110yds to 205yds on the back tee on the par three’s and a few par fours sprinkled in. These courses are free to residents and non local guests. We also have nine Championship courses with 27 holes apiece these are pay to play courses. The executve courses are designed with the golf car trails set so there is really no need to walk. Each score card has “PRACTICE GOOD GOLF” written on it which means pick up your ball after six strokes on par threes and eight stokes or par fours. I know what you mean about slow play it would be nice if the pro’s in the PGA would set the example. Maybe there sould be more fines for slow play.

    Reply
  5. meateater

    Monte, please keep hammering this issue. The Tour has wrecked golf for all of us with its ridiculous tolerance of glacial play.

    “But they’re playing for huge purses. They have to be careful” Bullshit. Every other professional sport enforces rigid time limits. Kobe Bryant can’t take two minutes to shoot a foul shot, even if the NBA Championship hangs in the balance.

    It’s entertainment. The Tour has wrecked their product. Sorry, but I just don’t find the sight of Furyk taking 30 minutes to line up a two foot putt very compelling. And they should arm Tour officials with stun guns to use on players who mark and clean their ball before a two inch tap in.

    If I hear one complaint when I do play, it’s about slow play. Courses do nothing to speed up play, apparently deathly afraid of offending someone who ruins it for 50 other paying customers. Hit the the friggin’ ball and move on. Be ready to putt when it’s your turn. And move off the green with some urgency, not like you’re 90 years old, even if you are.

    Reply

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